MEMO from Zondervan.

Rick - we understand your schedule is very busy. We thank you for all the time and effort in partnering with us on the Purpose Driven Life.

You must understand however though that we need that next book, like yesterday.

I get a call everyday from Brian Murray from HC HQ - asking when the release date is. I can only have Connie tell him that my door is closed and I'm meeting with God - so many times. Then my iPhone starts going, first its email, then it's text messages, then it's phone calls. I even made him a special ringtone on itunes from the Neil Diamond song - "Hello Again"

Is it us? Do you not like us anymore? Do you want more money? Ok, we promise not to write anymore books on how we were the wonder stuff on the marketing of PDL.

Here's the deal - just send us notes on napkins, digital voice recorders, old sermons, diaries - whatever you got. We will make something out of it - and if you like it - we will run with it. Otherwise we will head back to the drawing board.

I've got some ghost writers lined up. Let me know if any of these are acceptable:

Chuck Colson - He never writes any of his own stuff, so he's available to write yours
John Stott - Don't worry we will Americanize it after he's done
Eugene Peterson - It will sound a little bit slang - but it works!
Tim LaHaye - He wanted to make the movie first, but he's agreed, not sure about Jenkins
George Barna - He said he would put a muzzle on that house church stuff
Joyce Meyer - She's practically got a knock-off version in the can already
Mel Gibson - We would just need to edit out a few cuss words

I thank you for your consideration. The sooner we hear back from you - the sooner Nancy in HR can determine whether or not to start planning a Zondervan company Christmas party.

Bruce