If You Can Make It Here...

Where can we make the most impact in our culture? Influence the influencers? That's right, Times Square, Crossroads to the World. CNN, MTV, Conde Nast, Disney, ABC, Reuters, NYT are there, maybe we should be there too! So what we would we need to do different to reach New Yorkers?

1. Music - New Yorkers want something a little more reserved, classical? jazz? Not sure Kenny G makes the cut in the big apple.
2. Dress code - dude - I guess we aren't gonna be wearing flip flops, unless you want to be stepping in rat poop. We will also need to trade in the Hawaiian shirts for black turtenecks.
3. Outdoor baptisms - maybe we can switch that to rooftop baptisms.
4. Bagels. Bagels. Bagels.
5. We won't really need to worry about a kids program - if anyone does have kids in manhattan - we'll send 'em next door to the Lion King.
6. As Metaxas says "treat New Yorkers antagonistically and they will love you for it"
7. Don't let anyone with the last name Soprano handle the offering.
8. Pretend nothing exists outside of the city and mention that Orange County has no culture.
9. Celebrate Recovery 24 hours a day, more bagels.
10. Say you are hosting an outdoor New Year's Eve service, pass the plate and count the attenders.